Expendable – adjective
-(of an item of equipment or supply) consumed in use or not reusable; considered to be not worth keeping or maintaining.
The words ‘expendable‘ and ‘commodity‘ are words typically attached to inanimate objects, but I believe there are moments when people are treated as such. Investing time, effort and love into someone and not seeing the same reciprocated is quite frankly offensive.
Let’s have a reality check. We have all, at some point, used another person for our own benefit without expressing our gratitude. Even though we are guilty, knowing that you have been used like metaphoric toilet paper is naturally a blow to ones pride and dignity.
This brings me to the juicy word revenge, or should I said ‘Man-made Karma’, a dish best served cold.
You don’t want to wait for the universe to pay someone back, so you take it upon yourself to do so. I have certainly tried my hand at revenge. We have all been at that point. Fed up, frustrated and damn right pissed off. We allow ourselves to get angry. Why should we not? Knowing your time and effort was in vain and seeing it slapped across your face is enough to torment even the most placid of people.
The other night I got myself to that stage. Fed up and angry I was ready to plot my revenge, until my ever-wise mother said ‘the best thing you can do is remain magnanimous’. This word stewed in my mind.
Magnanimous – adjective – generous in forgiving an insult or injury; free from petty resentfulness or vindictiveness.
‘Free’ being the key word. Tormenting yourself with intricate plans to get ‘payback’ is constraining and not to mention indulgent. I realised that revenge is just a foolproof way to let someone know they get to you. It is so pointless. No matter what you do you cannot make someone see things the way you do.
If you were to attack your philandering ex’s Ferrari with a golf club all he will see is his baby, broken into bits, and he will begin to feel sorry for himself. He will not be able to see the ‘error of his ways’, what he probably will do is call the police and that isn’t going to help anyone. I am sure some of you even have friends who air their dirty laundry on Facebook and Twitter, talking about their ex as a low-life dog who underperformed in the bedroom. They may think they’re getting their own back by putting all this on display, but what they’re doing is making themselves look foolish.
Letting someone know that are getting to you is giving this person a lot of power – knowing that they can break you down. Ultimately we have to feel good about ourselves as a person, storing pent up anger and frustration only prolongs the recovery period. You have to get over it eventually.
Not what you wanted to hear? Sure the idea of revenge is no doubt delectable, but the actual execution carries a bitter cost of time, emotional and physical energy. You will not avenge yourself, sure you might get the opportunity to see your enemies suffer, but is it really worth it?
The best reaction you can give to the people who hurt you is to learn, forgive and move on.
Life is not meant to be lived backwards after all.